Man, it's only been three days and already something has happened that made me want to blog after finishing what needs to be done.

Well, in any event. There are a few things on my mind right now as you would have guessed. The obvious and mostly shallow portion of my mind is craving to get it's grimey little hands on Animal Crossing or Kingdom Hearts. Just beyound that is the little area of paranoia with fears of both past and present being its residents. Go on deeper pass that vault that contains all this useless knowledge of the supernatural that I've somehow built up and there you are. You're at the point in my mind where thoughts and dreams and processes are made as far as I'm concerned. In other words, its that well that doesn't look like it has water but does if you go deep enough.

So what's in my well right now? Just thoughts, really. Nothing all that special if you ask me. Mostly wondering thoughts about things like why I even fell in love with Jimmy so hard and what the future may hold. I'm actually quite fearful of the future. I think everyone is really. I mean, the unknown scares everyone. The not knowing about what's behind that cornor or who is hiding in the shadow or even who that missed call on your cell phone was. So what is it about the future that I"m so scared about right now? It's mostly how my preformance here will affect my life. This is my last chance to make myself something. To get what I want. And I'm scared at the fact that this could also end badly for me. Like all my work and effort and trying (or lack there of, if that turns out to be the case) was all for nothing. It's as if I finished doing step one and now I can't find out what step two is. I don't know.

You know, sometimes I wish I was able to do things better. You know, be smarter so I can think on my feet better or have more stamina to be more built. You know, just things that I'm lacking and probibly is too late to even learn about or how to do or anything.

Man, listen to me. I'm 19 and I'm sounding like I've retired from a dead-end factory job with enough time on my hands to try to do what I've always wanted to do when I was younger. You know the kind of person I'm talking about, don't you?