How do I do it? How do I fucking do it?

If I was to sign up with a frat house, last night was my Hell Week. Well, sorta speeck. It all started when I was starting to be a big ass clutz doing several things wrong. Cheif among them was my "job" as well as the whole not-being-able-to-operate-when-cold thing. I don't know what the deal with that is. Maybe I'm part lizard. Anyway, time warp now all the way to just before dusk last night. Dan and I left to pick up a friend of his. His name is Kevin, and off the bat I could tell that this boy was probibly going to be like the ones that used to beat me up in gym class. Actually, I was dead wrong. Kevin is really cool. I like him and his company. He's really sexually agressive, and bisexual. All and all a very cool dude that I am happy to have met. After we got back to Dan's, everything was all cool and fun. We talked about alot of stuff and even carved the pumpkins that were long overdue for carving.

Then I made my first mistake of that night.

They were both drinking and having a good time like they always do when Kevin suggested that we take a cruise out on his caddilac. I've never been in one, so since it was an open invitation, I jumped in. Bad move. The ride freaked me out when we were on it. I wasn't used to seeing the driver down a few cans of beer while still being able to drive straight. Right now, I'm over it and see no problem with it since they drink responsibly, but since I never had any kind of exposer to that, I started fearing for my life during the whole 20 minutes or so ride. I blame all those damned car crash videos they show Driver's Ed students. They noticed I was scared and I even told them flat out. When we got back to the appartment, things too a turn for the worst. Dan said that this kind of stuff always happens with him and Jimmy and Bill, and if I can't handle it with Kevin--who is not as bad as them, but good enough to get a good flavoring as to how Jimmy and Bill are--then I am not ready to be even here in Seattle.

Talks about sending me back home started to come up. I started to worry. I dint' want to go back. One way or another, the converstation shifted yet again to my additude during the day and how unhelpful I was. All this was coming from Dan. Kevin was probibly feeling sorry for me or something, but in the end, because of their long history, he sided with Dan. After Kevin passed out on the sofa, Dan started yelling at me about how I didn't vacum the floor and other things that I was suppose to do, but didn't think about doing for one stupid reason or another. Everytime I tried to say something that I thought would help me, it only made me look stupider.

Then I said a stupid answer that got Dan so mad he hit me.

After that, he kept repeating the same thing over and over again about how stupid my answers were, about how lazy I am to not take it upon myself to do something I wasn't told to do, that he never wanted me up there in the first place, about how he felt used and how he doesn't need this from me. He wanted to send me home at that very moment. I didn't bother fighting him back, cause I knew there was nothing I could say to him that would make him believe me or like me again. I mean, what can I say to him that would help me out in defence? Nothing.

This morning, after Kevin left, I cleaned the entire appartment while Dan recovered from his hangover. The entire time I was doing it, I kept thinking to myself why am I even bothering? I'm being sent home! I'm packed and disappointed. Dan even called up my dad and Josh saying that he's had it with me and that it didn't work out. For some reason, I finished alot faster than I thought. After words, Dan came out to take a piss and noticed the cleaning.

I meantioned that he hit me last night just in case he forgot. He didn't.

Know what he said in reply?

"Well, someone was going to have to knock some sense into you."

I'm still dead, though. While I was putting glasses into the dishwasher, I accedently broke Kevin's favorite beer glass.