(No, it has nothing to do with finding out that I have a bastard child.)
I found out that I got into an online gallery show. Once again, I entered not expecting to get in. And once again, I appeared to impress whoever was jurying the show. Not enough to win an award, but the fact that my piece will be shown for the duration of the show plus a year after it is taken "down" is a plus.
Check it out, leave congratulations in the comments area, etc. I know I should be pimping myself at this sort of thing as an artist, but this attention whore has never been good at turning heads on purpose.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Three-in-One Post
Another Senior Gallery
Two Days Ago
This week’s graduation gallery features three very strong female artists. Elizabeth Moore, Meliah Jones, and Debbie K. (I can never spell her last name to save my life, so out of respect, I’m not going to try.) All three have a very strong sense of craft with their art work.
And all three did something I didn’t expect.
Meliah had a video piece that caught my attention. Her aesthetics is something I can always appreciate. Anything I’ve seen from her is very visually captivating, much like herself if you ever see her in person. That’s the one thing I’ve always admired about her. Even if you didn’t meet her, her pieces still had a part of her in them. It was as if you already knew her just by looking at any of her work. But her video piece impressed me the most, as it was something that made me want to do the most unholy of actions in a gallery setting: touch the art.
Her video piece featured herself in a gas-mask-style respirator we commonly use for mixing toxic stuff with in sculpture. Meliah is no stranger to the idea of the costume, and her dress/outfit in the piece mimicked what her body was laying on top of. I couldn’t tell exactly what I was looking at, but I caught glimpses of what appeared to be something both vaginal and phallic from the above angle. Next to this was a ground angle of the same video with what appeared to be a plastic pillow shaped like a chest that she was trying to press down. Every so often, the pillow would change between the breast of a woman to that of a man and back again whenever she would let go of her vain effort at shoving this pillow into the mattress. Below this project was a pair of, what appeared to me to be, breast implants. The low angle and awkward lighting made it hard to determine if I was right or not. The only way to find out was to touch. But I didn’t, mostly out of gallery etiquette.
This piece read at so many levels for me that I didn’t know where to start! Was this a commentary on gender? What about vanity? It could easily be able feeling up places you are not suppose to. All I know is that I’m probably wrong with whatever I end up thinking is what she is trying to communicate.
I only saw one of Elizabeth. Or at least, I think it was one piece. It could have been two different pieces and I just made it into one in my mind. In either case, her piece had the same attention to detail and delicate nature of craft as what few things I’ve seen from having class with her. There is a lot of care and attention in anything I’ve seen her produce that makes me wish I had the patience she exhibits to get such a high and polished quality of imagery.
Here, Elizabeth plays with the lighting situation of the gallery by producing shadows on the gallery wall just behind a plane of glass that has, what appears to be, silkscreen images of various nature forms. Her pallet is strictly white, which lends itself quite nicely to the idea of purity and innocence. Juxtaposing the color with the darkness of the shadow it produces gives the image a ghost-like feeling. The images match the white of the gallery wall, and yet all you see is the shadow on the wall depending on the angle you stand at.
Contemporary imagery of a ghost is anywhere from the dark and cliche to the spiritual and mystifying. What Elizabeth has done is capture the essence of a spirit and visually display it. That in itself is a very difficult thing to communicate. And yet, she does so in such a way that reminds me of that feeling I used to get when I was little and actually enjoyed going to church.
The pieces that dominate the back wall of the small gallery space we have were all Debbie’s. Here is where I made my mistake. I started with what attracted me: her illustrations of these beautifully designed girls as they walked around this nightmarish fairy-tale world of child poverty and death. It was a brilliant set of work that used graphic design, animation, and fine art techniques in a way that pushed the idea of what could be art as well as aesthetic appeal to those out there who feel like art today is very alien. Debbie’s works are not so much alien as they are nostalgic in the visual sense. Yoshitomo Nara comes to mind as a similar artist who does this. So does Chinatsu Ban.
My mistake? I grew attached to this cute little girl in the illustrations that had little cat ears and a tail. I found her character design to be just adorable! I wanted her to be real, if not something tangible that I could look at and interact with.
It was around this time that I discovered the realistic representations of these girls on another wall hidden from the cute and comforting illustrations. The images were horrifying. These cute little girls were shown with insects all over their bodies, bullet wounds up and down their arms, and their ribs exposed due to starvation. The little cat girl I got attached to was pictured with a black eye the size of a grapefruit with one hand being nothing but a skeleton. Her face showed the sharp pain and sadness you see from the children on those commercials that say you can adopt a child in a similar situation for only a dollar a day.
It made me upset to see her in such a state. But that is what Debbie set out to do from the start. And she was very successful in my eyes.
The female artists at Watkins have always been the strongest at evoking something while still being visually appealing to the masses. The male artists, including myself, tend to be less appealing visually and even less capable of evoking emotions properly. It’s a gender thing apparently. And yet, everyone one I have come to admire and respect so far has broken the mold and pushed the idea of so many different aspects of contemporary art. They represent just how strong Watkins is as an art school.
These women are no exception to this fact.
Another Gay Movie Review
Yesterday
You would think that being in a film school, I would be exposed to a lot of independent films. Not so much is the case. In fact, I get told what films I should be watching, independent or big budget, more often than people actually sitting me down and having me watch the film.
Well, that’s how I found out about Another Gay Movie. I was told to watch the movie from Jason after he saw a screening of it. I looked up reviews, visited their official website, and then ultimately forgot about the movie until about a month ago. Out of impulse, I bought the unrated DVD. Why would I buy a movie I never saw before? Hell, why would I take a chance on a movie genre I don’t even like?! Because I needed another gay movie that wasn’t Brokeback Mountain (which I have yet to watch a second time due to how heavy the movie was emotionally for me).
I am not all that disappointed in my impulse buy, actually.
The story is pretty much a parody of nearly every teen sex comedy you can think of. Hell, in the background of the video store set, you can see the ones they are parodying. The twist in the gears is that each of the main characters are gay. The setting is an alternate fantasy world were being gay is seen as no big deal, according to the commentary on the DVD. For most viewers, it appears to take place in a world where everyone is gay, or at least in an area of the US with a high gay population to where being straight is a rare thing (like such a place exists).
Your characters are pretty much your stereotypical teenage cast. You have Jarod the jock who thinks working out will compensate for his lack of length. You have Griff the nerd who feels his ass is too skinny. You have Nico then fabulous femme fag who has a daddy issue. And finally, you have Andy the innocent virgin who still lives in a room with so many colorful kid-like items it borders on arrested development.
The actors play their parts very well, and chances are you’ll find yourself growing attach to all of them in one fashion. They are also broad enough to where you can probably relate to a few as well. Maybe not in the specific of their own personal issues, but definitely in their insecurities, emotional reactions, and how they generally carry themselves. (Hell, Griff alone reminds me of Jason both in how he walks and how he appears in the film! Griff even seems to be attracted to the same kind of guy that Jason is attracted to.)
The story itself is an over-the-top cliche, but then again, most parodies are a cliche in themselves. That's the nature of these kind of movies. While original in spin, the plot is fairly predictable. Hell, they even have a line stating the predictability of the story points in the first half hour of the movie! But it is still a fun ride, none the less, for those with an open mind and sense of humor.
There are some really raunchy moments during the movie. A bulldyke acting as gross as possible, a baseball team comprised of the fattest biker bears you will ever see in the gay culture, small rodent pets being used as butt plugs, and even a bondage sequence that has caused me to see Belgian Chocolate in a very different light. All these scenes, however, are suppose to be funny if not completely hilarious in their cultural commentary. And they all work at making you laugh!
There are even a few sex scenes that are featured, especially in the last quarter of the movie. The way these scenes are shot, however, isn't safe like Hollywood would do it, but at the same time, they aren't porn shots that I have been known to end up stumbling upon in some independent films. No real penises are ever shown on sceen. Well, at least out in the open, as there are a lot of bulge shots. The ass shots are all real, thankfully. At the same time, the director takes a no holds barred approach when showing the various positions on screen. You see pretty much everything when the characters end up doing it doggy style or riding each other. The shots are also long enough so you know what they are doing but short enough to not be too embarrassing to watch. They also aren't all that erotic so much as a parody of gay sex as well, so don't expect to get off watching the five minutes of moaning and humping you end up seeing.
What I really enjoyed the most about the film is that it took the guts to insert several scenes that made you care about the characters in a serious light. There are several serious moments in what could have been an all-out (no pun intended) parody similar to Scary Movie. Instead, they make it a point to evolve the relationship of two of the characters. If you've looked up this movie on YouTube, you no doubt have spoiled this part of the movie for yourself. I have, but no matter how many times I see this, it makes me smile with that feeling of fleeting love at the beauty of the sight.
My only problem with the movie is that they imply there is going to be a sequel. The director commentary says they would love to do a sequel given how well received the film was. Thing is, I've never heard of a sequel in an independent film scene before. Those seem to be reserved exclusively to the big studio films. But, then again, I don't hang around the art house films as much as others.
I want to close this review with an editorial. In the director's commentary, it was asked if any of the four actors were gay. The director said that some of them are, but given how brutal Hollywood is, they weren't going to say who for the sake of their career. While I completely understand the nature of this decision, I really don't think a person's sexuality should determine their career path. The actors in this film are very brave for what they had to do on camera, and even if they are gay or not, their acting talents should not be overlooked simply because they like someone of the same sex. If this is the practice of Hollywood, then Hollywood is no different than Nashville during the pre-civil rights movements where they would overlook talented people simply because of the color of their skin. Hell, they still do, only this time the color has changed. Even though this movie is a comedy set in a place that lends itself to the gags that happen, we should be able to live in the world they present. A world where it doesn't matter what you are on any level. Everyone has their place. Including the depressed crazy ones that get no attention to the point of being driven insane due to self-destruction.
Thrown Off Balance
Today - This Morning
Today is Day Five in not having internet access at home. Their excuse is that a server went down and it should be up and running within the next 12 to 24 hours. Or so was their excuse two days ago. The two posts above this one, as well as this one, were all typed on Notepad.
Meanwhile, my sense of stability has been completely thrown out of the window. While the internet wasn't something I took for granted, it was something that I relied heavily for social communication and balance. Something I can't really get in real life.
It is like an addiction. I've called and talked to an agent at my ISP and kept getting the same line over and over again. Unplug the modem and plug it back it. Turning it off and back on again normally fixes the problem. Blah, blah, blah!
Today, I found out that they were lying at me. Comcast's outages don't last more than a few hours and they certainly do not take out an entire state if a server goes down. Top this off with the fact that my parents are trying to get digital cable only to be handed the right equipment with the wrong text, and you have yourself some pissed off customers right now.
It is times like these that I wish the world had free internet and free cable television instead of all this corporate crap. It's bad enough there is a local campaign going on here trying to get AT&T out of the state of Tennessee.
Today - This Afternoon
Ever since the technician left the house and my confirmation call about my May 7th modem replacement, I've been all over the place as far as this internet thing and my emotions go.
Part of me is very impatient with how spotty this connection is. It likes to go out at least once an hour if not more so. Another part of me is generally depressed that I have to now gamble with my connection just to do things that only take me a minute to do such as read e-mail. The gambling part comes with how much attention I give an e-mail and if I decided to reply back. And yet another part of me wants to take matters into my own hands so badly to the point of extreme actions. I'm not talking about switching companies and then paying it for myself. I'm talking about a public lawsuit on a class action scale given how badly I was lied to about my disconnected service.
But the part that makes me who I am pretty much is going to do the bare minimum and deal with the problem as best as I can. I mean, I'll be getting a new modem from Comcast in two weeks. With a spotty connection, I really don't have to be online for hours on end, which is a good thing on paper. The bad thing is what if I'm sending someone an e-mail or posting on a message board and the connection dies? I'm pretty much screwed and will have to either send the message again or not send it at all. Knowing me, I'd try again until it gets through.
I'm stubborn like that. I'm the kind of person that would be able to fit the role of the dumb ass husband that won't listen to his sensible wife on those sit-coms where the male characters are always the source for some kind of slap stick physical comedy. And it's a wonder to some people while I continue to say that I'm not dating material.
Two Days Ago
This week’s graduation gallery features three very strong female artists. Elizabeth Moore, Meliah Jones, and Debbie K. (I can never spell her last name to save my life, so out of respect, I’m not going to try.) All three have a very strong sense of craft with their art work.
And all three did something I didn’t expect.
Meliah had a video piece that caught my attention. Her aesthetics is something I can always appreciate. Anything I’ve seen from her is very visually captivating, much like herself if you ever see her in person. That’s the one thing I’ve always admired about her. Even if you didn’t meet her, her pieces still had a part of her in them. It was as if you already knew her just by looking at any of her work. But her video piece impressed me the most, as it was something that made me want to do the most unholy of actions in a gallery setting: touch the art.
Her video piece featured herself in a gas-mask-style respirator we commonly use for mixing toxic stuff with in sculpture. Meliah is no stranger to the idea of the costume, and her dress/outfit in the piece mimicked what her body was laying on top of. I couldn’t tell exactly what I was looking at, but I caught glimpses of what appeared to be something both vaginal and phallic from the above angle. Next to this was a ground angle of the same video with what appeared to be a plastic pillow shaped like a chest that she was trying to press down. Every so often, the pillow would change between the breast of a woman to that of a man and back again whenever she would let go of her vain effort at shoving this pillow into the mattress. Below this project was a pair of, what appeared to me to be, breast implants. The low angle and awkward lighting made it hard to determine if I was right or not. The only way to find out was to touch. But I didn’t, mostly out of gallery etiquette.
This piece read at so many levels for me that I didn’t know where to start! Was this a commentary on gender? What about vanity? It could easily be able feeling up places you are not suppose to. All I know is that I’m probably wrong with whatever I end up thinking is what she is trying to communicate.
I only saw one of Elizabeth. Or at least, I think it was one piece. It could have been two different pieces and I just made it into one in my mind. In either case, her piece had the same attention to detail and delicate nature of craft as what few things I’ve seen from having class with her. There is a lot of care and attention in anything I’ve seen her produce that makes me wish I had the patience she exhibits to get such a high and polished quality of imagery.
Here, Elizabeth plays with the lighting situation of the gallery by producing shadows on the gallery wall just behind a plane of glass that has, what appears to be, silkscreen images of various nature forms. Her pallet is strictly white, which lends itself quite nicely to the idea of purity and innocence. Juxtaposing the color with the darkness of the shadow it produces gives the image a ghost-like feeling. The images match the white of the gallery wall, and yet all you see is the shadow on the wall depending on the angle you stand at.
Contemporary imagery of a ghost is anywhere from the dark and cliche to the spiritual and mystifying. What Elizabeth has done is capture the essence of a spirit and visually display it. That in itself is a very difficult thing to communicate. And yet, she does so in such a way that reminds me of that feeling I used to get when I was little and actually enjoyed going to church.
The pieces that dominate the back wall of the small gallery space we have were all Debbie’s. Here is where I made my mistake. I started with what attracted me: her illustrations of these beautifully designed girls as they walked around this nightmarish fairy-tale world of child poverty and death. It was a brilliant set of work that used graphic design, animation, and fine art techniques in a way that pushed the idea of what could be art as well as aesthetic appeal to those out there who feel like art today is very alien. Debbie’s works are not so much alien as they are nostalgic in the visual sense. Yoshitomo Nara comes to mind as a similar artist who does this. So does Chinatsu Ban.
My mistake? I grew attached to this cute little girl in the illustrations that had little cat ears and a tail. I found her character design to be just adorable! I wanted her to be real, if not something tangible that I could look at and interact with.
It was around this time that I discovered the realistic representations of these girls on another wall hidden from the cute and comforting illustrations. The images were horrifying. These cute little girls were shown with insects all over their bodies, bullet wounds up and down their arms, and their ribs exposed due to starvation. The little cat girl I got attached to was pictured with a black eye the size of a grapefruit with one hand being nothing but a skeleton. Her face showed the sharp pain and sadness you see from the children on those commercials that say you can adopt a child in a similar situation for only a dollar a day.
It made me upset to see her in such a state. But that is what Debbie set out to do from the start. And she was very successful in my eyes.
The female artists at Watkins have always been the strongest at evoking something while still being visually appealing to the masses. The male artists, including myself, tend to be less appealing visually and even less capable of evoking emotions properly. It’s a gender thing apparently. And yet, everyone one I have come to admire and respect so far has broken the mold and pushed the idea of so many different aspects of contemporary art. They represent just how strong Watkins is as an art school.
These women are no exception to this fact.
Another Gay Movie Review
Yesterday
You would think that being in a film school, I would be exposed to a lot of independent films. Not so much is the case. In fact, I get told what films I should be watching, independent or big budget, more often than people actually sitting me down and having me watch the film.
Well, that’s how I found out about Another Gay Movie. I was told to watch the movie from Jason after he saw a screening of it. I looked up reviews, visited their official website, and then ultimately forgot about the movie until about a month ago. Out of impulse, I bought the unrated DVD. Why would I buy a movie I never saw before? Hell, why would I take a chance on a movie genre I don’t even like?! Because I needed another gay movie that wasn’t Brokeback Mountain (which I have yet to watch a second time due to how heavy the movie was emotionally for me).
I am not all that disappointed in my impulse buy, actually.
The story is pretty much a parody of nearly every teen sex comedy you can think of. Hell, in the background of the video store set, you can see the ones they are parodying. The twist in the gears is that each of the main characters are gay. The setting is an alternate fantasy world were being gay is seen as no big deal, according to the commentary on the DVD. For most viewers, it appears to take place in a world where everyone is gay, or at least in an area of the US with a high gay population to where being straight is a rare thing (like such a place exists).
Your characters are pretty much your stereotypical teenage cast. You have Jarod the jock who thinks working out will compensate for his lack of length. You have Griff the nerd who feels his ass is too skinny. You have Nico then fabulous femme fag who has a daddy issue. And finally, you have Andy the innocent virgin who still lives in a room with so many colorful kid-like items it borders on arrested development.
The actors play their parts very well, and chances are you’ll find yourself growing attach to all of them in one fashion. They are also broad enough to where you can probably relate to a few as well. Maybe not in the specific of their own personal issues, but definitely in their insecurities, emotional reactions, and how they generally carry themselves. (Hell, Griff alone reminds me of Jason both in how he walks and how he appears in the film! Griff even seems to be attracted to the same kind of guy that Jason is attracted to.)
The story itself is an over-the-top cliche, but then again, most parodies are a cliche in themselves. That's the nature of these kind of movies. While original in spin, the plot is fairly predictable. Hell, they even have a line stating the predictability of the story points in the first half hour of the movie! But it is still a fun ride, none the less, for those with an open mind and sense of humor.
There are some really raunchy moments during the movie. A bulldyke acting as gross as possible, a baseball team comprised of the fattest biker bears you will ever see in the gay culture, small rodent pets being used as butt plugs, and even a bondage sequence that has caused me to see Belgian Chocolate in a very different light. All these scenes, however, are suppose to be funny if not completely hilarious in their cultural commentary. And they all work at making you laugh!
There are even a few sex scenes that are featured, especially in the last quarter of the movie. The way these scenes are shot, however, isn't safe like Hollywood would do it, but at the same time, they aren't porn shots that I have been known to end up stumbling upon in some independent films. No real penises are ever shown on sceen. Well, at least out in the open, as there are a lot of bulge shots. The ass shots are all real, thankfully. At the same time, the director takes a no holds barred approach when showing the various positions on screen. You see pretty much everything when the characters end up doing it doggy style or riding each other. The shots are also long enough so you know what they are doing but short enough to not be too embarrassing to watch. They also aren't all that erotic so much as a parody of gay sex as well, so don't expect to get off watching the five minutes of moaning and humping you end up seeing.
What I really enjoyed the most about the film is that it took the guts to insert several scenes that made you care about the characters in a serious light. There are several serious moments in what could have been an all-out (no pun intended) parody similar to Scary Movie. Instead, they make it a point to evolve the relationship of two of the characters. If you've looked up this movie on YouTube, you no doubt have spoiled this part of the movie for yourself. I have, but no matter how many times I see this, it makes me smile with that feeling of fleeting love at the beauty of the sight.
My only problem with the movie is that they imply there is going to be a sequel. The director commentary says they would love to do a sequel given how well received the film was. Thing is, I've never heard of a sequel in an independent film scene before. Those seem to be reserved exclusively to the big studio films. But, then again, I don't hang around the art house films as much as others.
I want to close this review with an editorial. In the director's commentary, it was asked if any of the four actors were gay. The director said that some of them are, but given how brutal Hollywood is, they weren't going to say who for the sake of their career. While I completely understand the nature of this decision, I really don't think a person's sexuality should determine their career path. The actors in this film are very brave for what they had to do on camera, and even if they are gay or not, their acting talents should not be overlooked simply because they like someone of the same sex. If this is the practice of Hollywood, then Hollywood is no different than Nashville during the pre-civil rights movements where they would overlook talented people simply because of the color of their skin. Hell, they still do, only this time the color has changed. Even though this movie is a comedy set in a place that lends itself to the gags that happen, we should be able to live in the world they present. A world where it doesn't matter what you are on any level. Everyone has their place. Including the depressed crazy ones that get no attention to the point of being driven insane due to self-destruction.
Thrown Off Balance
Today - This Morning
Today is Day Five in not having internet access at home. Their excuse is that a server went down and it should be up and running within the next 12 to 24 hours. Or so was their excuse two days ago. The two posts above this one, as well as this one, were all typed on Notepad.
Meanwhile, my sense of stability has been completely thrown out of the window. While the internet wasn't something I took for granted, it was something that I relied heavily for social communication and balance. Something I can't really get in real life.
It is like an addiction. I've called and talked to an agent at my ISP and kept getting the same line over and over again. Unplug the modem and plug it back it. Turning it off and back on again normally fixes the problem. Blah, blah, blah!
Today, I found out that they were lying at me. Comcast's outages don't last more than a few hours and they certainly do not take out an entire state if a server goes down. Top this off with the fact that my parents are trying to get digital cable only to be handed the right equipment with the wrong text, and you have yourself some pissed off customers right now.
It is times like these that I wish the world had free internet and free cable television instead of all this corporate crap. It's bad enough there is a local campaign going on here trying to get AT&T out of the state of Tennessee.
Today - This Afternoon
Ever since the technician left the house and my confirmation call about my May 7th modem replacement, I've been all over the place as far as this internet thing and my emotions go.
Part of me is very impatient with how spotty this connection is. It likes to go out at least once an hour if not more so. Another part of me is generally depressed that I have to now gamble with my connection just to do things that only take me a minute to do such as read e-mail. The gambling part comes with how much attention I give an e-mail and if I decided to reply back. And yet another part of me wants to take matters into my own hands so badly to the point of extreme actions. I'm not talking about switching companies and then paying it for myself. I'm talking about a public lawsuit on a class action scale given how badly I was lied to about my disconnected service.
But the part that makes me who I am pretty much is going to do the bare minimum and deal with the problem as best as I can. I mean, I'll be getting a new modem from Comcast in two weeks. With a spotty connection, I really don't have to be online for hours on end, which is a good thing on paper. The bad thing is what if I'm sending someone an e-mail or posting on a message board and the connection dies? I'm pretty much screwed and will have to either send the message again or not send it at all. Knowing me, I'd try again until it gets through.
I'm stubborn like that. I'm the kind of person that would be able to fit the role of the dumb ass husband that won't listen to his sensible wife on those sit-coms where the male characters are always the source for some kind of slap stick physical comedy. And it's a wonder to some people while I continue to say that I'm not dating material.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Want and Need
You kind of fell into Watkins by default. You're a fine arts major because you don't really know what else to do - also a default decision. You worked at Regal because you're parents made you and you didn't know many other places you could get hired. You only did Sunday driving lessons with me because I insisted on it and you didn't have to make any effort. You've applied to shows because it's required by your classes. You don't seem to go after things that you WANT or feel like they'll be good for you. Well no wonder you're depressed! Why would you see a doctor about that? She'll only urge you to start making aggressive choices toward personal independence.
Taken out of context, but the message and its point is still there for what I am going to be writing about.
I found myself sitting in the cafe at school thinking about this for the better part of my two hour break between classes. I then questioned what it is that I want. If something shallow and/or unrealistic came about as my answer, I immediately threw it out. I wanted to know for myself and my own self worth what it is that I truly want that would better myself.
The scary thing is I came up blank. Every time, I couldn't figure out what it is that I absolutely want that could be good for me. And by that, I mean something that I can benefit from and grow as a person as a direct result of whatever it was to be.
It's a scary thing when you sit down and think about what you want out of life only to come up with nothing.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Cause and Effect
I like to believe that behind my back I'm told I'm over dramatic, that someone out there believes that what I do is nothing more than a reaction that shouldn't be due to extreme feelings. It's better than believing that nobody is talking about you.
I've been trying to go to Spain and Italy on a Study Abroad class. While most of progress for the trip has been met, I recently fell into a snag with trying to get the final payment in. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say it involves a lot of miscommunication. Then again, what doesn't in my life?
Things were said, messages were delivered back and forth, and I was starting to lose sleep over my future education prospects. One thing lead to another, and I found myself in a fit of depression transferring money from an account I designed as something I shouldn't touch unless I absolutely had to to my checking account with the purpose of making the rest of the payment myself.
As noble and independent as my actions were, given my own history, I feel like a fool. I know my actions won't go without consequence.
The way I see it, I'm officially broke anyway. The remaining cash I have is pretty much spent on the computer I'm typing this on. Any money I have been spending in the past is just a false debt that I'm accumulating. On top of all this are my Student Loans and future tuition costs and who knows what else.
I was never good with money. I always bought things that didn't matter. So why is it that I feel so bad now that I actually spent money on something that I want? I want to go to Spain and Italy. I want to actually go there without some pretense like a religious pilgrimage to save my soul. I want to go to Europe and see the things that I'm actually interested in with people who are equally interested in those things as well. So why do I feel like I just did something horrible just now?
I've been trying to go to Spain and Italy on a Study Abroad class. While most of progress for the trip has been met, I recently fell into a snag with trying to get the final payment in. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say it involves a lot of miscommunication. Then again, what doesn't in my life?
Things were said, messages were delivered back and forth, and I was starting to lose sleep over my future education prospects. One thing lead to another, and I found myself in a fit of depression transferring money from an account I designed as something I shouldn't touch unless I absolutely had to to my checking account with the purpose of making the rest of the payment myself.
As noble and independent as my actions were, given my own history, I feel like a fool. I know my actions won't go without consequence.
The way I see it, I'm officially broke anyway. The remaining cash I have is pretty much spent on the computer I'm typing this on. Any money I have been spending in the past is just a false debt that I'm accumulating. On top of all this are my Student Loans and future tuition costs and who knows what else.
I was never good with money. I always bought things that didn't matter. So why is it that I feel so bad now that I actually spent money on something that I want? I want to go to Spain and Italy. I want to actually go there without some pretense like a religious pilgrimage to save my soul. I want to go to Europe and see the things that I'm actually interested in with people who are equally interested in those things as well. So why do I feel like I just did something horrible just now?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
404 Internet Not Found
From Yahoo! News:
From the sounds of the article, they want to do a complete overhaul of the Internet's basic architecture. The original system was designed on a level of absolute trust, which eventually got exploited by spammers and hackers alike. The new system is to be faster and more secure making it quicker to channel safe data to you and everyone else.
There are a lot of governments and organizations supporting this ranging from the Department of Defence to the National Science Foundation. However, in order to go through with this project, the US Congress has to grant them money.
This means The Internet 2.0 won't happen for another 10 - 15 years. Until then, we are going to be using what works, even if the experts are surprised that this current system works as well as it does.
Although it has already taken nearly four decades to get this far in building the Internet, some university researchers with the federal government's blessing want to scrap all that and start over.
The idea may seem unthinkable, even absurd, but many believe a "clean slate" approach is the only way to truly address security, mobility and other challenges that have cropped up since UCLA professor Leonard Kleinrock helped supervise the first exchange of meaningless test data between two machines on Sept. 2, 1969.
From the sounds of the article, they want to do a complete overhaul of the Internet's basic architecture. The original system was designed on a level of absolute trust, which eventually got exploited by spammers and hackers alike. The new system is to be faster and more secure making it quicker to channel safe data to you and everyone else.
There are a lot of governments and organizations supporting this ranging from the Department of Defence to the National Science Foundation. However, in order to go through with this project, the US Congress has to grant them money.
This means The Internet 2.0 won't happen for another 10 - 15 years. Until then, we are going to be using what works, even if the experts are surprised that this current system works as well as it does.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Random Test Results
Either I'm bored or burned out. You decide.
In any event, here are some fun and silly test results from those various internet personality quizzes you find all over the place that are vague enough to be specific to you.
I think this is way off the mark, but then again, it's the internet.
"Zingy?" What?
In any event, here are some fun and silly test results from those various internet personality quizzes you find all over the place that are vague enough to be specific to you.
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
| You Were A Lion |
 You have a lethal combination of strength and energy. You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you. |
| You Are 44% Cynical |
 Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right. |
I think this is way off the mark, but then again, it's the internet.
| What Jonathan Abarquez Means |
J is for Juicy O is for Openhearted N is for Nutty A is for Articulate T is for Tempting H is for Hardworking A is for Astounding N is for Nerdy A is for Adaptable B is for Boisterous A is for Ambitious R is for Relaxed Q is for Quick U is for Unique E is for Ebullient Z is for Zingy |
"Zingy?" What?
| You Are 52% Feminine, 48% Masculine |
 You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides. You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you. You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders. |
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
A Gallery Without Walls
Per requirement for the class, I must apply and provide proof of application towards two juried exhibitions in order meet the minimum needs of the class.
While looking at exhibitions calls, admittedly for the first time willingly, I couldn't help but feel completely jaded by what some where asking. Mostly due to entry fees and a lack of a steady income and partly because of my own laziness with such a close deadline coming up.
That's when I discovered something that excited me a little. It seems that there are a few organizations out there wanting to produce an online exhibition of art.
From the sound of it, these people want to replace if not challenge the idea of where we view art. Technically, we already have virtual galleries in the sense of things like flickr, Deviant Art, and even YouTube. However, these sites do not really do "call for entry" things let alone exhibit works of art. They can if you look around hard enough (I should know. I found a few on YouTube.), but they are ultimately nothing more but a platform for someone to post pretty much anything within their set user agreements.
But still, the very idea that an entire show being available online for anyone to access is quite a fascinating and interesting idea. With things like Second Life making millions of dollars simply because people are that sick of the real world, I can only wonder how much exposure one could get for uploading a digital documentation of a drawing for a virtual gallery.
Unfortunately, the date to get everything in is the 15th of this month. I'm going to have to kick some serious ass tomorrow. Mine, to be exact.
While looking at exhibitions calls, admittedly for the first time willingly, I couldn't help but feel completely jaded by what some where asking. Mostly due to entry fees and a lack of a steady income and partly because of my own laziness with such a close deadline coming up.
That's when I discovered something that excited me a little. It seems that there are a few organizations out there wanting to produce an online exhibition of art.
From the sound of it, these people want to replace if not challenge the idea of where we view art. Technically, we already have virtual galleries in the sense of things like flickr, Deviant Art, and even YouTube. However, these sites do not really do "call for entry" things let alone exhibit works of art. They can if you look around hard enough (I should know. I found a few on YouTube.), but they are ultimately nothing more but a platform for someone to post pretty much anything within their set user agreements.
But still, the very idea that an entire show being available online for anyone to access is quite a fascinating and interesting idea. With things like Second Life making millions of dollars simply because people are that sick of the real world, I can only wonder how much exposure one could get for uploading a digital documentation of a drawing for a virtual gallery.
Unfortunately, the date to get everything in is the 15th of this month. I'm going to have to kick some serious ass tomorrow. Mine, to be exact.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Attention Computer Makers
I just recently noticed that one of my keyboard letters is started to fade away due to general use and not because I was carelessly cleaning it with some kind of solvent that eats away at the paint/ink. Incidentally, this computer isn't even a year old yet despite it being already obsolete.
I went searching for computer skins for it, but alas, they don't make ones for the keyboard model I have. I then searched what kind of cause would have been the root of this fading print only to find out something rather startling.
Apparently, according to this thread I found, most keyboards on both the Mac and PC ends are using an old fashion and fairly cheap version of screen printing for their keyboards! Through excessive (and sometimes normal) use, keys have been known to just disappear in one fashion or another. What keys end up fading away is apparently random or factors in to what they user types the most.
A few posts down, I learned something interesting. The paints/inks they are using are generally getting cheaper and cheaper, causing faster wear and tear on keyboards on both sides of the computer debate. Only one company is doing something to combat this, but they are providing it as an optional rather than a factory standard.
Apple apparently can engrave your letters into your keys to prevent fading letters. And since human erosion takes forever, the keys are pretty much guaranteed for the life of the computer!
Why the hell is this not a factory standard?! Maybe when they get several keyboards back saying from consumers saying "replace this for free because I refuse to pay $200 for a new keyboard," they will start being standard on computers.
But until then, I'll have to deal with my fading M and L keys.
I went searching for computer skins for it, but alas, they don't make ones for the keyboard model I have. I then searched what kind of cause would have been the root of this fading print only to find out something rather startling.
Apparently, according to this thread I found, most keyboards on both the Mac and PC ends are using an old fashion and fairly cheap version of screen printing for their keyboards! Through excessive (and sometimes normal) use, keys have been known to just disappear in one fashion or another. What keys end up fading away is apparently random or factors in to what they user types the most.
A few posts down, I learned something interesting. The paints/inks they are using are generally getting cheaper and cheaper, causing faster wear and tear on keyboards on both sides of the computer debate. Only one company is doing something to combat this, but they are providing it as an optional rather than a factory standard.
Apple apparently can engrave your letters into your keys to prevent fading letters. And since human erosion takes forever, the keys are pretty much guaranteed for the life of the computer!
Why the hell is this not a factory standard?! Maybe when they get several keyboards back saying from consumers saying "replace this for free because I refuse to pay $200 for a new keyboard," they will start being standard on computers.
But until then, I'll have to deal with my fading M and L keys.
Friday, April 06, 2007
"peopled"
I just got back from spending a short time experiencing the art of my peers.
And as far as the art of the person that doesn't think too highly of me goes, it was some of the most refine visual pieces I've seen. Not only were they both visually engaging and interesting, but they were presented in a way that gently encouraged the viewer to think about them.
Most impressive, however, was the fact that he pushed the idea of what a gallery space is. The transformation of a sacred temple of the visual culture into a casual environment with conversation pieces positioned all around really questions not only what we should consider an exhibition space, but as well what is and isn't art.
As demonstrated by the above, I can separate my own personal convictions with a person from my feelings of the product they produce. I can only hope that some of my "enemies" can do the same for me in the future, those real and fictional.
And as far as the art of the person that doesn't think too highly of me goes, it was some of the most refine visual pieces I've seen. Not only were they both visually engaging and interesting, but they were presented in a way that gently encouraged the viewer to think about them.
Most impressive, however, was the fact that he pushed the idea of what a gallery space is. The transformation of a sacred temple of the visual culture into a casual environment with conversation pieces positioned all around really questions not only what we should consider an exhibition space, but as well what is and isn't art.
As demonstrated by the above, I can separate my own personal convictions with a person from my feelings of the product they produce. I can only hope that some of my "enemies" can do the same for me in the future, those real and fictional.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Familar Place
The other night in Seminar, the teacher got on to the few of us that showed up for class that night about how we are not going to art events or experiencing the visual culture of our time. My immediate defence was the fact that I have no time. I have three other studio classes and each one demands a certain amount of attention, most of which has been allocated into one or the other like a pie chart dealing with a budget of some kind. You know, where you take some money from this department to help out that department because it's more important than the one you took the money out of?
My other reason is that my contemporary visual culture is that which is readily available. Internet media, television, pretty much most of mass market consumerism. I'm exposed to it somewhat daily. Hell, I'm using it right now, and it is continuously influencing me in one respect or another. Given what I do as far as art goes, this is no different than going to galleries every time a new show goes up.
At the time, I thought nothing of it. Why should I? After all, my interests may be in art, but they are not that heavily into the contemporary art scene such as everyone elses.
I can also see where this outburst was coming from. Without exposure to the contemporary art scene, you can't be a part of the community and learn from it. You can be influenced by your peers or show a greater appreciation for what they are doing if you don't show up. (And there is a difference between "showing up" and "making face," which I am personally going to demonstrate tomorrow at the opening of a certain someone's graduation show. Just because we had a falling out doesn't mean I don't respect and appreciate the work.) Yes, it is important to see what is going on around you now and not later. There is something about the sense of experience that makes memories solid, more tangible.
A couple of hours ago, I got the same thing told to me as we were entering an art gallery to watch some contemporary video work. I felt like I was in one of the short films I'm fan-subbing at the moment for YouTube simply by what was said. "You should make time to go to art openings."
I should do a lot of things. For example, I should be driving right now. An issue that is pretty damn important now that I'm 24 and still living at home. I also should be on my own in one sense or another. I should be working or studying instead of typing this blog. I should be taking some of these things more seriously.
I should be doing a lot of these things on my own, but when you search for why you are not, you just end up with nothing. I can blame a lot of things. My parents, lack of any kind of encouragement in anything, too many people saying that I have to do things or else I'm not worth talking to, depression, 9-11, etc. But in the end, I got nothing.
As usual.
My other reason is that my contemporary visual culture is that which is readily available. Internet media, television, pretty much most of mass market consumerism. I'm exposed to it somewhat daily. Hell, I'm using it right now, and it is continuously influencing me in one respect or another. Given what I do as far as art goes, this is no different than going to galleries every time a new show goes up.
At the time, I thought nothing of it. Why should I? After all, my interests may be in art, but they are not that heavily into the contemporary art scene such as everyone elses.
I can also see where this outburst was coming from. Without exposure to the contemporary art scene, you can't be a part of the community and learn from it. You can be influenced by your peers or show a greater appreciation for what they are doing if you don't show up. (And there is a difference between "showing up" and "making face," which I am personally going to demonstrate tomorrow at the opening of a certain someone's graduation show. Just because we had a falling out doesn't mean I don't respect and appreciate the work.) Yes, it is important to see what is going on around you now and not later. There is something about the sense of experience that makes memories solid, more tangible.
A couple of hours ago, I got the same thing told to me as we were entering an art gallery to watch some contemporary video work. I felt like I was in one of the short films I'm fan-subbing at the moment for YouTube simply by what was said. "You should make time to go to art openings."
I should do a lot of things. For example, I should be driving right now. An issue that is pretty damn important now that I'm 24 and still living at home. I also should be on my own in one sense or another. I should be working or studying instead of typing this blog. I should be taking some of these things more seriously.
I should be doing a lot of these things on my own, but when you search for why you are not, you just end up with nothing. I can blame a lot of things. My parents, lack of any kind of encouragement in anything, too many people saying that I have to do things or else I'm not worth talking to, depression, 9-11, etc. But in the end, I got nothing.
As usual.
