Wednesday, November 22, 2006

It's a bad sign when you wake up feeling pathetic.

The idea of my arrested development has become a whole lot larger than just an idea to explore for the visual arts. In fact, the more it sits on the back burner as something to use and look into, the more it starts to boil over and burn whatever settled on the bottom of the pot.

I have trouble forcing myself to do what I know needs to be done. Usually, this is with just minor things that everyone else doesn't like doing in one respect or another (take out the trash, clean their bed, get rid of all the dust in the computer, etc.). And if you ignore these long enough, there are immediate consequences (smell, the computer not working, etc.). But not driving? Not getting a job? Not having a normal life? The consequences were not as immediate.

Until now. Now that I have money, I find myself being more budget conscious than before. Now that I have had a job, I find myself worrying if I will have to look for another one in about three weeks. And as my time in college gets closer and closer to the end, it ultimately means more and more advance classes that involve doing things off campus.

I need to learn how to drive, and I need to learn fast. I need to get that damn license, and I need to do it before it gets too late. And "too late" is coming up fast.

But as sensible as that sounds to me, I can't make myself do it for some strange reason. I rather sit on my hands and work on something else like this blog entry.

And to think, I thought stalling Jason's car in the middle of the intersection with a truck behind me was the lowest point I could feel.

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