I've been called sensitive before, both in real life and by people online that read testimonies of me crying at some of the most idiotic things like a theme park's Christmas display. It shouldn't come as any surprise that I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve when I post blog entries.
Apparently, I got something wrong with the last question asked by Jason. I've read over the post and still cannot see what he is talking about. The blog, my drawing process, one and the same? Running parallel to each other? And the same process only using different words?
I tried to be as broad as possible when I thought about that question. After all, the wider your umbrella, the more ground you can cover. I guess I wasn't broad enough.
To revisit the question with a paint roller, both activities give me an opportunity to feel better. I am also able to shut off the world in both processes helping me just create or formulate my thoughts. Both are somewhat private acts that can be put in the public sphere in one manner or another, either direct or indirectly.
God, why do I feel like that answer was forced? Up until now, I've been going with my gut and what I feel is the right answer with questions where there are no right answers. I'm told that one of my answers is essentially wrong because my honest opinion on the matter won't make me look good in front of a panel of judges who know more about contemporary art than I do because they have a resume and experience sheet longer than my own. I took this as being told that what I said would make me look like an idiot.
There are some days I rather be honest about my ignorance. It may not be bliss, but it sure as hell feels better than being told your honest opinion is wrong and will make you look bad. Unless, of course, the entire bulk of society disagrees with you to the point of political out cry a la Gay Right Marches. Then I don't mind being told I'm wrong by people who know better than I do and can defend their case in a manner that doesn't involve spewing out words of hate and intolerance.
3 comments:
Jon,
I am sure that Jason did not intend for you to interpret anything he wrote as "your honest opinion is wrong and will make you look bad." What he, and what I want, is that your opinion be considered and that you look thoughtful.
This quotation from Albert Schweitzer decrying our "habit of classifying an artist according to the means he uses" may help you see things more clearly:
~ ~ ~
MAN
You said that Bach was a poet and was at the same time a painter.
ALBERT SCHWEITZER
This is not at all a paradox. We have the habit of classifying an artist according to the means he uses to interpret his inner life: a musician if he uses sounds, a painter if he uses color, a poet if he uses words.
But, we must admit that these categories, established by external criteria, are very arbitrary. The soul of an artist is a complex whole, in which mingle in proportions infinitely variable the gifts of the poet, the painter, and the musician.
Music is an act of worship with Bach. His artistic activity and his religion are both based on his piety. For him art was religion, and so he had no concern with the world or with worldly success. All great art, even secular, is in itself religious in his eyes; for Bach the tones do not perish, but ascended to God like praise.
~ ~ ~
In my own case sometimes after many years it occurs to me that two things have a common thread. Jason is just trying to cause you to think in ways that will cut that time down from years to months to -- if he succeeds -- days.
There really are no wrong answers when it comes to art. A created piece may overwhelm one person and just be ignored by thousands of others. Is it true art? For that one person, it is. An artist can't worry about everybody.
Your critics may know more than you do but they don't therefore know better than you do.
Robert
Hey Jon,
You are stretching your perspective to include a few new angles. Sure that includes feeling a little awkward, maybe a little confused.
Pretend that in formulating this thesis you're doing a paint-by-numbers painting. You've filled in all numbers 1 - 5, totally correctly. The image is there, clear as day. But wait! There are some other numbered areas that need to be covered as well. "Hmmm," you say, "maybe I don't want to fill in those numbers. Maybe I like them better blank. Does that make the picture wrong?"
Wrong? No. You're doing everything right so far.
Incomplete? Yes. Anyone who walks by can see the remaining numbers and know that you haven't covered all the area that was meant to be covered.
Does incomplete make you look like an idiot? NO. Not at all, so stop worrying about that or you'll start looking like an idiot (just kidding).
Looking like an idiot and feeling like an idiot are two different things. I feel like an idiot most of the time, even when people I trust try to convince me that I don't appear like one. Sometimes I feel completely confident and cool, like the most popular kid on campus. And then I walk by the mirror and quickly realize that that's not the case, either. It's impossible to match up the internal image we've constructed for ourselves with the actual way we come across to other people.
At this point you are having a tough time seeing the similarity between your blog and your drawings. From your perspective as the creator of both of these things they are worlds apart. As an outside viewer the moment you mentioned your drawing idea I immediately saw the connection between the two. Am I wrong? No. Are you wrong? No. Is it important for you as the artist to see both perspectives so you can be aware of how your work is read by others? Hmmm, good question. For the sake of your senior thesis I have to say yes. Because that's what you're being graded on. After school if you don't care about anyone's perspective but your own, you totally have the right to lock yourself in your own sphere and do what you want with no concern about how people perceive it. But that's for a later time in your life when you aren't being graded. Until then you're going to finish this awesome project and craft a thesis paper that's going to blow their socks off proving that you are aware of yourself as an artist. Hell yeah!
You're doing really well. Don't let a little self-doubt throw you off course.
Your public art piece is awesome, by the way!
Jon,
Jason asks, "Is it important for you as the artist to see both perspectives so you can be aware of how your work is read by others?"
I would substitute "multiple" for "both" and suggest that having multiple perspectives leads to a more comprehensive inner vision. But it is probably a mistake to try to focus on all those perspectives when you are working on a particular piece.
The person who is exposed to your creation will know whether or not you had an inner vision. But whether there has been a choice among many perspectives is not something that will occur to them unless they are playing art critic.
Robert
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