Not much to say, but I guess since my last angst-ridden entry generated enough feedback, both online and in the real world somehow, I might as well say something about it.
I got the paper, dug in a trash pile for a box that could hold it all, got another box to work as a divider to separate the used and the unused paper (should something happen and I end up spotting several blank sheets), and popped out a handful of drawings using a blue ball-point pen I normally use for note-taking.
Haven't revised my artist statement or my paper for the class. Don't care to because I know there's no way I can justify this project in an "expanded artist statement," which apparently nobody told me that is what our thesis paper is really. Stupid me thought it was an actual, academic thesis paper. In reality, it's just a longer artist statement with research citation. Why couldn't Jack say that in the first place?! And if he did, why couldn't he make the point of that more clear over the course of the class?!
Ranting aside, that's all that I've done. Debating on how to document this project. Frankly, I'm just drawn to the idea of displaying these pieces online with links on the ones I like to a CafePress store where you could buy them as shirts or mouse pads so I can make some money on the side. Can I justify that? Not really. The bullshitter is saying that is just another avenue of escape for some people: shopping. You know who you are.
So, yeah, there it is. I'm still spread way too thin given my classes and up-coming deadlines, and I seriously doubt I'm in a good place with this new project. In fact, my lack of being able to artistically justify what the hell I'm doing without bullshitting means that it will fail.
But I don't care any more. I'm tired of this pretentious art intelligentsia crap.
4 comments:
jonathan stop saying you can't justify what you are doing. you can. look up tim friedman or freidman or maybe freidmen. can't remember the spelling. also maybe you should read some theory about why people create. that book "in the making" in the library has some good essays... amanda
Hey Jon,
You seem so concerned with this word "justify." Bah! Humbug! Do the work and let it justify itself.
It sounds like you are on a roll. You'll figure out how to display the work, online or otherwise. As the drawings unfold a solution will just start to make sense. That's the great thing about an organic process like this.
As for the thesis paper/extended artist statement with research citations, there's no need to stress. Tons of other artists work in this manner of automatic production. Look at Tom Friedman, Tim Hawkinson, Dan Perjovschi, or Simon Evans. Sometimes the point of the art can be simply "doing." Sometimes it's merely a matter of pulling cluttered thoughts out of your head, or just expressing the mindless motion of the hand. You'll figure it out as you do it, and therein will lie your thesis. As you do more drawings and the date for the paper gets closer, you and I can talk about what's going on in your experience of drawing, and we'll grow a paper from that. It'll be great!
Just stay on this project consistently and you have nothing to fear.
Hey Jonathan, I've read the last few blogs about your creative rut. Maybe I'm putting that too harshly, creative uhh... can't think of any other words so I guess rut will do. It seems a lot of insecurity stems out of thinking about what everyone else is doing. Doing that will only result in you not doing the work you want to create. You need to fill your creative need, not everyone elses. Maybe these classes are not catering to what you want to make and you need to find a way to make a stand and create the things you truly find interesting.
For me getting in a psychic rut is the worst and it's because I look at others with contempt for being more accomplished than me. But then I realize that this is not good for me, nor for the people around me. If I embrace the fact that others have accomplished something greater than what I can do,I can acknowledge that I too would like to attain something similar. So the next step would be to seek the advice of others. I'm sure there are artists that you admire. Keep looking to them for inspiration and try to learn their secrets or figure it out on your own. If you set up steps to attain for your goals then soon the unattainable can become attainable.
To be frank I think you struggle with a feeling disconnected from people all together. I say hi to you at school and you give this devil may care look. I feel like you are just having a difficult time. I believe that part of you wants to connect with the people around you. This beyond any other goal is what I think is inhibiting you more. But the more you put your life in order the more you will be happy with yourself. If you become happier within yourself maybe you can become more approachable and gain the friendships you want.
To be truthful no one has their entire life in order, but you set goals for yourself. Have an ultimate goal but you start by attaining smaller ones that will help you get to be the artist you want to become. Don't be afraid to try things out because you think you will fail. Failing is a sign of growth because it means you have attempted to improve your life. All you can do after is regroup and try again. Anyway, what I say to you may not be the solution, but it is a solution of many. Life is so full of many solutions stick to the few that suit you. I hope this offers some enlightenment.
Jon,
When I wrote Jason about my comment on "For Nobody's Approval," I said that some of my words were almost a haiku and then I revised them into a haiku:
After all these years
still sucking but now sucking
at a better place.
- - - Thursday, 8 November 2007
The next day I wrote a haiku based upon something a friend emailed to me. It seems very appropriate to this blog entry and mirrors the advice you are getting from others.
Look for the next step
and hope there is a next step --
what else can one hope?
- - - Friday, 9 November 2007
If people are taking the time to comment on your work, they must think it has some value. This reminded me of another haiku I wrote earlier. It uses the term poet but it just as easily have said artist:
A real poet
bothers and is bothered by
real listeners.
- - - Saturday, 5 November 2005
So get on with it and bother your viewers.
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