Attraction, Affection, and Guilt

If there three things in the world that have any kind of effect on my personality, it is these three things.

Affection and Attraction can be seen as the same thing, and to a point, the pair is a force to be dealt with in a fashion that would rival most superhero-villain fights. For me, when the two are given to me and I'm aware of it, I turn into a nymph of sorts. I turn that way with the slightest hint of affection, which is a very easy way to take advantage of me. However, if both happen at the same time, I'm easier than a $1 whore on half-off day and probably ten-times sexually charged.

Individually, Affection turns me into a puppy dog. Show me love or even a slight hint that you'll be nice to me and I'll follow you home if I can get away with it. Affection directly affects my loyalty to someone. I can't seem to turn my back on someone or abandon them in their time of need. They were nice to me, so I try to be nice back as best as I can.

Attraction, on the other hand, rarely has happened to me. In fact, it has only happened once. Admitting being attracted to me as sincere as possible causes me to lower my guard, almost to the point of danger. The good thing is that if I'm on the receiving end, I end up taking some risks I wouldn't otherwise. Unfortunately, Attraction is a double-edge sword. One I've experienced too many times, only holding it the wrong way. These days, I don't act on my attractions unless there is the slightest hint of affection received.

However, the strongest of them all is Guilt. If someone makes me feel guilty, I will apologize so many times to the point of annoyance. If I make myself feel guilty about something, not only will I apologize to the point of annoyance but sincerely wear my heart on my sleeve until I know that all is right in the world. And if I can't make it right by apologizing, I become puddy in the palms of the person's hands.

You see the common thread, don't you?

Co-dependency is a bitch, and I seriously need to kill her.