Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't

It hasn't even been a month, and I already know that I'm failing at trying, in general, to keep from presenting myself in such an open fashion to the point where I'll end up being hurt. Over the course of the past few weeks, I've noticed that every other site I go to has been infected with some kind of bitterness that I've built up recently due to the lack of being unable to express myself. My doodles have become scratchy, almost as if I'm tearing at the page to make an image. If I talk, which is becoming more and more rare in general, my voice just seems to ring with this "Alright, fine, whatever. I'm just here, after all." kind of tone.

It's rather sad, to be perfectly honest.

So here I am. Like every other time I try to change something about me people generally don't like in a cold turkey kind of way, I've hit the proverbial reset button on my personality and habit. Why? Because I didn't like the way I was becoming as a result of it. It just didn't feel like I was me. You think I would have learned by now to not listen to other people, especially the ones that hate me for whatever reasons.

Oh well, so much for a happy and positive blog instead of a festering pit of negativity and lack of personal growth as a result of my brooding and self-infliction upon my self-esteem simply because I don't have enough of it left to think highly of myself.