10 Years Behind

Settled in to this Sunday Morning routine
Sans my iTunes Weekly Top 40
Half-full Vault next to a copy of Spore
Fully empty Powerade bottle next to a copy of Zoo Tycoon

Able to critically think
Able to form political views
Able to budget funds appropriately
Able to know when to keep my mouth shut

No longer growing
Unable to grow
Settled for social stagnation
Looking for compassion in a seemingly careless world

Was told on the day of love that I'll find someone eventually
Rebuttaled saying that nobody would be interested in me
Confirmed later that day that I was right
Listed the reasons why

Ten years behind
Mentally sixteen
Physically twenty-six
Unable to grow

Unwilling to grow?
Scared to grow?
I need help
Slowly dying inside

Heroic music blaring yet pathetically complaining
Musing about romantic ideals that will never be
Traumatized by the past and unable to recover
Six years unable to get over

Desperate for a companion who can help me
Desperate for a hint of compassion
Desperate for understanding
Knowing full well this is an impossible ideal

I need help
Dying from a broken heart
I need help
Empty eyes wanting to cry

Faking a smile everyday
Nobody can see the pain
Nobody is allowed to
Nobody knows I'm hurting inside

I need help
Nobody cares
I need help
I can't do this alone

I need help
I need help
I need help
I need help...