Adapting Lifestyles

I'm back from my time abroad, and while I could go into detail as to what I did and how much fun I had... Well, to put it simply, I feel like I shouldn't. I will wait until my film rolls to come back later this afternoon to do that. I mean, there are several stories I could share that are worth sharing, but the thought on my mind right now is rather confusing in the usual sense given what I write about here.

The way the class was designed was to experience the culture of Spain and Italy as best as we Americans can. This included things like meal times, when to go to bed, when to wake up, and how to get around. Needless to say, we got used to the schedule rather fast. Hell, at one point, we got upset because we missed our siesta.

I even changed drastically while I was there, doing the things Jason tried to get me to do but never got me to try! That's right, I went to a bar, had half a glass of beer (and let me tell you, they have big glasses there in Europe), and even went to a disco! There were even a few days where I went out on my own and explored an area wider than what I would usually walk around here at home! In short, I was actually functioning as an independent person making my own choices and owning up to whatever results or consequences they lead to.

Three days back in the states and back home, and I've already reset myself back to how I was prior to when I left. I don't know how it happened either. Part of me right now knows I need to take care of some important personal business, but the majority of me is being a lazy slob that is perpetually hungry and bored with life. That was something that never came up while I was in Europe, granted we were always moving or doing something every day as part of the class structure.

I'm sitting in a very awkward position now. Part of me wants that change that happened in Europe to happen here in the states, but the other part of me is countering that in the usual manner. Habit vs. want, and both are aiming for domination and control over what should be a simple decision for any normal human being to make!

And to make this matter worse? I feel like I have nobody to tell this to, the reason for which are so convoluted I wouldn't know where to begin.