"Every flower blooms at its own time."

I've been e-mailing this guy for a while now, and recently something has come up that makes me a bit pissed off. Mostly because of the sense of conformity that it's caused.

Given his age (early 30's), he is embarrassed that he lives at home. He's tried, like myself, to get out in the world and stay financially secure as best as any middle-class American can. But, like myself, he's ended up back in a place that is not only unnuturing for his growth as a person but a place where he generally hates being stuck in. Unlike me, however, he's done this process several times. I only did it once. I'm easy to defeat. He isn't.

But he's starting to get tired of the ordeal. His last e-mail makes me worried. It sounds a bit like he is wishing for that quick fix to help him get out of the debt hole everyone finds themselves in at one point in their lives. Then again, who wouldn't? That's why radio stations always have those kind of "we'll pay of your debt" contests.

The thing is, he shouldn't be embarrassed by it or feel ashamed when he's forced to admit it. I don't know where society got off on this, but saying you are 30 and living at home is not a bad thing given the situation. There is no law saying that everyone has to move out at 25 or even at 22. There is no law saying that everyone must have a job at 18. There is no law saying you can't move back in with your parents at 30 even if you are financially unable to support yourself. And yet we do have this "laws." They are unwritten laws of society, and anyone that doesn't abide by them is seen as a loser not worth dating.

Who came up with this shit? That's like asking a super model if she ever stripped before and telling her to stick to answering only with the words "Yes" or "No." You don't know the situation that lead up to the choice. It can be justified even if you yourself think the profression isn't. But there is this high chance that the public won't let you get even that far into the door. It's been my experience that the moment you mention anything that the other doesn't like, they more than likely not like you because of it. If they don't end up not liking you, then there is the chance that they will also think less of you due to your inability of being able to do what is suppose to be a simple task.

These simple tasks and abilities are often taken for granted. Take driving for example. The day you learn how to drive, you get a new found sense of independence for about a day. Then you get into your first wreck, or you have to drive your friend to point A because you are on the way past there so you might as well car pool. Or, when you move out, you find out that you can only fit so much into your car without the need to spend more money on a moving van or even a hitch trailer. By this time, driving as an ability is taken for granted. The joy and sense of freedom is lost due to the repeative and mundane act of driving. When you think about it, what is driving? Pushing a pedal down so some gas can be put inside of a chamber to explode so another piece of machinery can make the wheels go around. The average teenager is learning how to push a pedal so the car can do all the work and turn a wheel so the car knows what way to crash into.

Jobs are the same way. They say you won't know a value of a buck until you have a job (or so says the old proverb). I say, you won't know a value of a buck until you have a job and then lose it like I did. Once you have no source of steady income, you start becoming budget conscious. That's when you start to realize what the true value of a dollar is in society, as well as establish that fear of debt and the paranoia of not being able to pay it off over the course of your life. After all, the last thing anyone wants to do is go to the grave with red numbers on their records.

In nature, any animal that can't defend themselves without their parents is more often than not killed and turned into fodder by someone higher up on the food chain. Thankfully, humans don't have that going for them (granted we are one of the few species on the planet does attack their own species). Had we not socially evolved to this point, people like my friend and myself would be dead by now simply because we can't survive outside of the home. This isn't a bad thing. It's no different than the 12-year-old who still has training wheels on their bike because their equilibrium isn't there yet.

People develop at different times than other people. Unfortunately, it will take a long time for other people to realize this, as some have realized this before most of society. Ironic when you think about it.