What is it about me and bettering myself that causes me to be so hypocritical? No more than an hour ago, I was talking to a co-worker who, for the first time since I-don’t-remember-when, made the rhetoric about driving make sense to the point where I said to myself “That’s it. I need to do this now or I’ll never be any better.” And now? I’m googling tips to overcome my fear of driving only to learn that every tip I find I’ve done but hasn’t helped. I mean, I’ve tried everything short of taking a seminar on the subject!
The only tip that has worked that I’ve found is the driving buddy tip. If I can find someone who I feel safe with in the car, it could lessen the fear. To date, only Jason has proven to be that person. My folks make me feel uneasy, and all my friends are long gone or I fell out of contact with them. Hell, I’m not even sure I feel comfortable driving them anywhere if only to better myself.
I think the thing I need to get over first is this self-defeating nature of mine. Actually feel confident that I can get something done. Something big. Maybe then I can actually do these things.
I don’t know. Maybe I’ve gone crazy. The fact of the matter is something in that conversation made sense to me. And now I find myself at an impasse that needs to be addressed now and not later.
And to think we started this conversation by me asking him how he gets into the creative mood so that I could have a pool of suggestions to get some artistic projects done.
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