I find myself saying that to myself a lot lately. A lot of unneeded, and probably unnecessary, stress has been placed inside my little noodle thanks to school. Tons of reading, more than I normally do. The need for modern technology, which as you can tell from my last entry I'm behind. And to top it all of is the sense that I don't belong in the school simply because I can't seem to hold my own.
Adding to this little box of shit is this! Yes, folks, I need a camera for my Time Base media class. Am I going to do something with it? Probably, but that all depends on the project at this point. Unfortunately, I'm quite fearful of asking to buy tapes for this project to fit the cameras I have rental access to from school. (That, and I don't want to play the "if you are over 15 minutes past your time, you get charged an arm and a leg" game since I have a bad enough time keeping track of library books.) So, what am I stuck with? A Hi8 camera from the late 1990's.
According to the website, the camera is good for "Cash-strapped schools," which pretty much boils down to the arts. Still, for such a small school with such a high demand for quality, it's a wonder why we even are described that way. It's bad enough that they make the students by their own paper, canvas, and paint.
I've been hoping in my sleep that something good will come out of this. Terry said last semester that the two main fields of the Fine Arts department may not be where I will excel. That in it of itself is the only thing that keeps me going from day to day since I have no class that involves painting, drawing, or even sculpting. They are all technology based; they all require the computer.
Still, I can't deny that the stress and frustration is still there. It probably won't come out until the Identity Crisis assignment my teacher said we will be doing soon.
1 comment:
This time-based media class sounds incredible. As incredible as you are with photography, this might really click with you as being a viable medium to work with for future projects. I have only seen bits and pieces of your artwork, but your photographs seem to be your strongest technical work.
Your upcoming seminar classes will involve huge amounts of time and commitment to your projects than any other class you have had so far. They're designed to set the standard for how you will conduct your professional art practices (media, methods, form, content) after you are out of school. It is hugely exciting even though it's pretty intense. Keep your eye out for different media that you might be able to use later, in seminar, or even after you graduate. As frustrating as the costs and obligations are for some of these classes, they'll pay off in another semester or two.
Here's a serious question though, have you considered at what point relying on your parents for transportation and funds will start to hinder your success in school? It might be closer than you think. As your classes get more advanced, you'll be expected to (and hopefully want to) spend a lot more time in the studios, computer labs, darkrooms, or woodshop. Will late nights at school be a problem for your current carpooling arrangements? You could start taking out extra student loans to cover supply expenses? It's a pain in the ass to take out loans, but for the sake of getting through school, it's totally worth it. I've tried it both ways, and without the loans I would have never finished. It seems like a lot of the recent graduating students have allotted themselves between $500 and $1000 for supplies for the body of art they present for their senior shows. That's a lot of money, but it's nothing compared to the amount of research time and production time they've put into these projects.
Also, and don't laugh, have you considered living in one of the dorms? I keep hearing how unbelievably nice they are. And convenient. You would be close to the school at all hours for whenever you need studio time. And spending that much time around other like-minded creative people could be really beneficial to your own ideas and processes. I'm a strong advocate for community. If they had built dorms at Watkins while I was there, I'd not have lived with my parents through my senior year, just to cut down on the driving time. I'm not saying that dorm life is necessarily the right thing for you (or the wrong thing), but maybe it's something to consider that might make certain aspects of your life a little easier. It would certainly present more options for dating.
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