Something broke in my brain. I'm not sure what, exactly, but I've been obsessing over trivial things as of late. Specifically, the loss of access to paid content for a computer game. The only course of action that appears to be the final option after running through the gauntlet of everything I've done is to completely uninstall the software and then reinstall it. While this is a common practice, I've been trying to avoid doing this for principle.
The last few days since this discovery has sent me down an emotional path similar to one you would take when dealing with death, according to psychological reports or whoever makes this shit up. At first I was denying this was going on. Then I got mad about it. I'm at the point now where I'm trying to fix the issue myself or accept the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. And as I sit here, I continue to over think the whole situation.
Is it really as bad as I'm making it out to be? Things break all the time. Nothing lasts forever. So why am I obsessing about this?
It's brought me to this point: I can either spend the entire day tomorrow doing the technical thing that I stated above, or I can give the problem a few days to simmer on the stove to see if it is still as big an issue as I'm currently feeling it is right now.
The more mature option would be to sit back, do other things, and come back to the issue to see if it is still important to me. But given that my days are filled with nothing but dread and defeat every time I look for a job, this game is the only thing I have left to help me feel stable. At least on an emotional level.
It sucks not having a life. And I blame myself for the fact that I can't kick my ass out of this rut I dug myself in to.
