Feeling Bad with a New Point of View

The more I think about it, the more I start to feel bad for Jaime and Ken for having to put up with me.

All those times when I never really was much fun, all those conversations where I would add in my two cents but still have no clue what the hell they are talking about, all those moments that I enjoyed just because I was in the company of people I like.

All they were to them was a kind of slow social torture. A kind of semi-waste of time, at least on their part.

Yes, I believe I am that boring.

Freaked Out!

Yesterday, I entertained a random IM from someone in Clarksville, which is about 30 minutes out of Nashville. Judging from his picture and IMs, I thought he was cool.

Boy, was I wrong.

If this is a sign from God, I am praising his name right freaking now!

This guy, who shall remain nameless for his own protection, was literally a vision of what I may end up becoming! Fat and boring! I mean, this guy was just as indecisive, just as viced on video games as I am, and just as anti-social! The only things that saved tonight for me were the fact that he bought me my favorite brand of shrimp crackers and that I saw Chris, a fellow Fine Arts student and painter, working at a used comic and video game store.

While driving around looking for something to do, I told him that I had a report to do for Color in order to get home earlier. No, I didn't lie. I really do have a report for Color that I need to do.

God, I know what I have said is mean and shallow and God knows what else, but I am seriously freaked out here! It is as if I was hanging out with my future self! It made me feel really uncomfortable. This is the last time I meet some random person from the internet. The next time I meet anyone that I have IMed with, it better be with someone that I know very well like Andrew or James or David or Leo.

Now you see why I don't really date.

Meet The Masters

Organized by The Phillips Collection in Washington, D.C., From El Greco to Picasso highlights celebrated paintings and sculpture from the 19th and early 20th centuries. See the work of early masters such as El Greco and Delacroix as it appears alongside masterpieces from later movements such as Impressionism, Cubism and Expressionism.

From fristcenter.org

Normally, since I can get in for free with my Watkins College of Art and Design Student ID, I would go to this big event that opens today...

But I know it's going to be hell there with so many people from the small yet thriving art community. Not to mention the press. I'm better off going next Friday morning when people are at work.

Still, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and extremely important for me as an artist to be able to view these works in person.

Not to mention I get extra credit for going to the show for my Drawing 2 and Art History 2 classes!!

Another Chance

David IMed me out of the blue this evening. It was a welcome surprise. We started talking, and I got several of my vices of my chest. Long story short, towards the end of the conversation, David suggested that because my blog sounds like I'm rather lonely that I get back with the others.

I have this odd feeling that I'm going to regret what I did, but I gave them all another chance.

David assures me that I won't regret it. He is taking a big risk by doing this undertaking. He has concluded that he will try to make this work, to make me and the others friends again. I hope he hasn't put himself into something he can't handle. He's already got a lot on his plate as it is.

Bill then popped on, and he did what I wanted him to. He apologized. Being the good person that I am, I quickly forgave him. That's one of my better qualities. He was deep in his studies, so all he had time for was to apologize.

Andrew then popped on. He didn't apologize. He just messed around and said a few sweet things like how he missed me and how I have been in his head ever since. I still wonder if this is kosher with Ivan, his current partner. He promised me that he will meet me later this year. I'm holding him to that.

I have this odd feeling that more drama will happen before I turn 21.

Test Results

What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.

You are the Despondent Villain

You aren't much of a leader, but you're an exceptional loner. Whether or not you're a villain, people are still suspicious of you. Maybe it's that weird hair-do. Or the fact that you never smile. Or that you're just so depressing. Who knows.

Does anyone need me for a movie? I can happily play this part without trying.


find your elementat mutedfaith.com.

You are a Spirit Mage

Virtue: You have a keen understanding of human nature. You are slow to act and often to speak as well. Because of your observations, you have a better knowledge of motives and emotions than most people.

Vice: Although you understand others, nobody seems to understand you the same way. You feel like an ear to the world, and you often bottle your emotions inside, for fear of being misunderstood.

That is surprisingly accurate.


Find your Role-Playing Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.

You are the Amnesiac

One of the more popular cliches of role-playing, you are probably the victim of insecurity. You are unsure about yourself in some aspect - be it physically, mentally, or emotionally - and you constantly try to change that aspect.

You would be much happier if you could learn to love who you are, and quit trying to be someone else.

I think someone is trying to tell me something.

Something Snapped

I think I'm going through some kind of withdrawal, but what kind?

I just caught myself with all three of the major IM programs on. I barely talk to anyone in real life, and my IM life is just as quiet on most days I can boot these programs up.

On top of that, I was talking with someone earlier today that found my PlanetOut profile! I almost forgot about that personal ad!

I wonder what the deal is.

Pepper Ghosts

You want to do something fun? Here is what you will need.

• The Godfather Part III poster with one or more of the actors facing towards the camera
• A glass plane like a sliding door or a window, preferably with something dark behind it
• A lot of lights

Now, place the poster up so that it is perpendicular to the glass plane. Turn on all the lights in the same room as the poster. Stay in that room, but move to and area about 45^obetween the poster and the glass plane. Now look into the glass plane. Someone is looking back at you! It's a ghost!

Sorry, but that is what I am seeing how from this computer terminal in the school library. It's rather distracting, and creepy.

Three Hours of BOREDOM

I had to fight not falling asleep while at the student cafe. The reason why I wanted to go to sleep was just because I was bored. I had done three drawings, one every hour. I was tired of drawing for so long. I wanted to save my strength for class later.

Why can't there be a nap room or something at colleges?

What is Art?

Yesterday, I drew my sister's nose and eyes from a profile point of view as part of homework for Drawing 2. Everyone made a big deal about how cool it looked and how I should be doing this for a living at the store.

Hello? Only now they start to notice?! What about the other art I've created in the past 17 years!

For some reason, they want me to do realistic over cartoons, which is what I want to do.

What is it with people and what they consider to be art? I consider cartoons to be art, but everyone else sees them as nothing more than entertainment for little kids (and a few teenagers). I consider Disney's Audio Animatronics to be art, but everyone else seems to call them robots.

I guess this is what makes me an artist. The fact that I can see things differently. Now if only that made my life easier.

Three Hours of A. D. D.

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