She wants me to finish applying by when?! FRIDAY?! This Friday?
From DigiPen - 3DCA Admission Requirements:
Deadline for Fall Admission.
DigiPen will accept applications to our A.A. degree programs in 3D Computer Animation until April 30, 2002.
Well, unless you didn't read the header or didn't check the calendar today, I'm out of time. That's what I get for finding out about it a few days ago. Mom is still acting like I have a chance though. Yeah, I know, I could do all the gathering of "Offical High School Transcripts" and portfolio making and typing up the personal essay, but lets get real here. Even though there is a "rolling deadline," the fact still remains that I don't have a snowball's chance in the seventh circle of Hell. (Sorry, I've been reading The Divine Comedy by Dante online.) So why apply now?
Besides, there's always next year, and by then I'll have everything I need gathered and picked out nicely. I'll have letters of recommendations that will look very professional and not rushed (not saying that any other one would look unprofessional). I'll have the perfect portfolio given my skills. I would have gone through my essay dozens of times over to make sure that it is spelled right and grammatically right. So since I missed the deadline, why gather all this stuff just to get it turned down because they filled up the 40 Freashmen student cap? It's not like a meteor is going to hit the Earth any time soon.
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Sunday, April 28, 2002
This is so very odd.
DigiPen Institute Of Technology apparently has gotten not only my interest back into college, but my parent's want to support me! The cost per sermester is 1/4 less than what Cornish is asking for, so I guess that's a plus. It's also in Remond, which is not far from where Dan is from the map. And I can get an Associate Degree in 3D CG Animation in 2 years easy.
Heh, "easy?" Who ever said things were easy? I know they aren't. It was hard enough getting my folks to let me go to Seattle.
I think this Tech Insitute is my pot of gold at the end of the perverbial rainbow.
DigiPen Institute Of Technology apparently has gotten not only my interest back into college, but my parent's want to support me! The cost per sermester is 1/4 less than what Cornish is asking for, so I guess that's a plus. It's also in Remond, which is not far from where Dan is from the map. And I can get an Associate Degree in 3D CG Animation in 2 years easy.
Heh, "easy?" Who ever said things were easy? I know they aren't. It was hard enough getting my folks to let me go to Seattle.
I think this Tech Insitute is my pot of gold at the end of the perverbial rainbow.
From DigiPen Institute Of Technology:
DigiPen Institute of Technology is the first school in the world dedicated to computer science instruction as it applies to real-time interactive simulation programming. DigiPen is also one of the oldest computer animation schools in the world. Successful graduates of our programs gain the skills required to pursue careers in the rapidly growing world of computer technologies in general, and computer graphics and simulations in particular. We offer an unbeatable combination of practical game-making experience with strong academics.
No wonder Mom suggested I look at this place for my higher education. It's right up my ally. I mean, I like games, and I'm on the computer alot. And it's in Washington state. God, I feel bad now for almost turning this to the scarp heap.
Also oddly enough, as soon as I started looking at the site, mom got all excited and keeps saying how she is going to pay the tuition. Maybe I haven't screwed myself over.
DigiPen Institute of Technology is the first school in the world dedicated to computer science instruction as it applies to real-time interactive simulation programming. DigiPen is also one of the oldest computer animation schools in the world. Successful graduates of our programs gain the skills required to pursue careers in the rapidly growing world of computer technologies in general, and computer graphics and simulations in particular. We offer an unbeatable combination of practical game-making experience with strong academics.
No wonder Mom suggested I look at this place for my higher education. It's right up my ally. I mean, I like games, and I'm on the computer alot. And it's in Washington state. God, I feel bad now for almost turning this to the scarp heap.
Also oddly enough, as soon as I started looking at the site, mom got all excited and keeps saying how she is going to pay the tuition. Maybe I haven't screwed myself over.
Well, it happened. When my father came back, we sat in my room and talked about Seattle.
Dad made the first move and tried to talk to me about if I'm sure I want to do what I said I wanted to do. Get the lay out of everything. Frankly, it sounded more like a scolding for not doing much of anything these last seven months. Whatever he said and however he said it blew my original planed speach out the fucking window. It seems almost poetic that it was also raining when this happened.
We then got onto the subject of money and what job I may get and all that. How I'm not going to take most of my stuff, which I planed anyway, and where I'm going to go to school and all that. I broke it to them that I didn't have the ambition anymore. Their jokes went too far with me when they were ribbing me to do something. Was that a quiver I heard in my mom's voice? Natually they are concerned about me. They think it would be easier for me to learn all that I'm going to end up learning here instead of Seattle. It's cheaper this way.
Whoever told me money was a nessicary evil is right. They wanted to know if they should support me while I'm up there. I told them that it would be nice and that I'd like them to, but I'm not expecting it cause they have their own bills to pay and other priorities. Bad choice of words, Zeek. They told me that I'm top priority, not the bills. That's the first time I've heard that since my stupid suicidal days back in God-knows-when. I kept saying that as much as I'd like them to and as nice as it would be I wasn't expecting them to support me, cause they will eventually be pissed at the fact that I kept sucking money from them. Dad then said that since that's the case, they won't. Mom agrees saying that depending on people is hard, so being independent would be better. That coming from someone that can't gas up her own car says something else. It tells me that she knows what it's like to be depended and knows what it's like to not be. Anyway, the only thing it looks like they want to pay for is for my ticket to Seattle.
Dad wants to call Dan to see what's up and if I have room in his small apartment to live untill I get kicked out or am able to live on my own in a city with a higher standard of living than here. Not knowing if the number is the same, I took the job to e-mail him, as well as Bill, what was up.
I can't help but wonder right now. Did I just screw myself over and made this harder for me than it could have been? Dan said one night when I asked a question similar to that that if I have to ask, then it's probibly true.
Problem Two FOUND: Communication
Dad made the first move and tried to talk to me about if I'm sure I want to do what I said I wanted to do. Get the lay out of everything. Frankly, it sounded more like a scolding for not doing much of anything these last seven months. Whatever he said and however he said it blew my original planed speach out the fucking window. It seems almost poetic that it was also raining when this happened.
We then got onto the subject of money and what job I may get and all that. How I'm not going to take most of my stuff, which I planed anyway, and where I'm going to go to school and all that. I broke it to them that I didn't have the ambition anymore. Their jokes went too far with me when they were ribbing me to do something. Was that a quiver I heard in my mom's voice? Natually they are concerned about me. They think it would be easier for me to learn all that I'm going to end up learning here instead of Seattle. It's cheaper this way.
Whoever told me money was a nessicary evil is right. They wanted to know if they should support me while I'm up there. I told them that it would be nice and that I'd like them to, but I'm not expecting it cause they have their own bills to pay and other priorities. Bad choice of words, Zeek. They told me that I'm top priority, not the bills. That's the first time I've heard that since my stupid suicidal days back in God-knows-when. I kept saying that as much as I'd like them to and as nice as it would be I wasn't expecting them to support me, cause they will eventually be pissed at the fact that I kept sucking money from them. Dad then said that since that's the case, they won't. Mom agrees saying that depending on people is hard, so being independent would be better. That coming from someone that can't gas up her own car says something else. It tells me that she knows what it's like to be depended and knows what it's like to not be. Anyway, the only thing it looks like they want to pay for is for my ticket to Seattle.
Dad wants to call Dan to see what's up and if I have room in his small apartment to live untill I get kicked out or am able to live on my own in a city with a higher standard of living than here. Not knowing if the number is the same, I took the job to e-mail him, as well as Bill, what was up.
I can't help but wonder right now. Did I just screw myself over and made this harder for me than it could have been? Dan said one night when I asked a question similar to that that if I have to ask, then it's probibly true.
Problem Two FOUND: Communication
I confronted my mother and told her, at a very opprotune time, that I wanted to go to Seattle. Basically, some digital college sent me some letter asking if I would be interested in whatever, and I just said then and there in front of her I didn't want to go. I didn't tell her that I frankly lost the ambition to go to college altogether because I wanted my father to hear that too. I don't know if the message knocked down any doors, to say. Hell, I'm not even sure it worked! I'll find out when I can get my mom and dad together later today and try again.
Just like my dad to take advantage of the good weather and go out golfing...
Just like my dad to take advantage of the good weather and go out golfing...
Saturday, April 27, 2002
They tell me they are willing to let me go anywhere and do what I want, right? So why can't I go to Seattle? They said it was money. They said that we can't afford to send me there. That I can't afford to go to college there. That I can't be there. They know I want to leave. They can't be that stupid. I mean, my bags are packed. So why is it they want me to take classes down here? Why do they want me to learn how to drive down here? Why do they want me to get a job down here? Don't they know that I do not want to do anything with this town?
Bill said I'm acting like a juvinile. Compleately childish. Andrew said I have problems. Everyone wants me to grow up, including myself. So the hell am I stuck thinking like a 15 year old!!??!? Why can't I act my damn age and talk to them like all the other 19 year olds that have had it but want to be respectful to their parents in making major decisions? Why am I so different? And why do I feel like that's a bad thing?
Problem One FOUND: Self-Confident issues
Bill said I'm acting like a juvinile. Compleately childish. Andrew said I have problems. Everyone wants me to grow up, including myself. So the hell am I stuck thinking like a 15 year old!!??!? Why can't I act my damn age and talk to them like all the other 19 year olds that have had it but want to be respectful to their parents in making major decisions? Why am I so different? And why do I feel like that's a bad thing?
Problem One FOUND: Self-Confident issues
Friday, April 26, 2002
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Tonight Fortune Cookie Wisdom
Know the right moment.
Why do I feel like this was given to me more of a play of fate rather than a play of chance? I don't know, maybe I'm just being weird given what has happened over the last few days.
So when is the right moment? Personally, I know it's different from person to person. The right moment can be anything from now because you are bored to when everything is in place for a plan to go through. I am with the later of the two. For me, things have to be in the right placement for it to be the right moment. Everyone has to be cool with everything at the least. Room for error should be slim if any. If that's demanding too much, then I guess I am demanding too much of the world. Hey, that's what I think the right moment would be.
In other news: Dad volenteered me again for something I'm not even interested in. He just assumes that since I have done computer art--however not recently due to a crash in my system--that I'd like to do what some of his customers do for a living. To make a long story short, I'm going to be--if I'm willing, which I'm not at this time--to partake in a slight training session in what they do. Thanks, but I'll pass.
Mom, on the other hand, wants to take a photography course, naturally, with me at, where else, Tennessee Tech. What is she using as an insentive? She promised to get me a new Dell with Maya Compleate. Please, that's about $3K! Combined with the course, I'd hate to see the bill for that! I don't want her to spend that much money on me. Sure, a few bucks here and there is cool, but something like this? Especially when I haven't decided that I want to take photography as a class. Well, you can tell where I'm going with this.
Wonder what her fortune meant when it said that she is going to "live a comfortible retirement."
Know the right moment.
Why do I feel like this was given to me more of a play of fate rather than a play of chance? I don't know, maybe I'm just being weird given what has happened over the last few days.
So when is the right moment? Personally, I know it's different from person to person. The right moment can be anything from now because you are bored to when everything is in place for a plan to go through. I am with the later of the two. For me, things have to be in the right placement for it to be the right moment. Everyone has to be cool with everything at the least. Room for error should be slim if any. If that's demanding too much, then I guess I am demanding too much of the world. Hey, that's what I think the right moment would be.
In other news: Dad volenteered me again for something I'm not even interested in. He just assumes that since I have done computer art--however not recently due to a crash in my system--that I'd like to do what some of his customers do for a living. To make a long story short, I'm going to be--if I'm willing, which I'm not at this time--to partake in a slight training session in what they do. Thanks, but I'll pass.
Mom, on the other hand, wants to take a photography course, naturally, with me at, where else, Tennessee Tech. What is she using as an insentive? She promised to get me a new Dell with Maya Compleate. Please, that's about $3K! Combined with the course, I'd hate to see the bill for that! I don't want her to spend that much money on me. Sure, a few bucks here and there is cool, but something like this? Especially when I haven't decided that I want to take photography as a class. Well, you can tell where I'm going with this.
Wonder what her fortune meant when it said that she is going to "live a comfortible retirement."
Heh, I don't get myself sometimes. Everytime I watch a movie I like, there is always this scene running in my head.
I have this weird day dream. I end up on The ScreenSaver's Site of the Nite segment for the most imformative and fun website. Each section would be based on a movie I have seen and grown found of. The layout, the games, just the very idea is so beyound me I wonder if I will ever see that kind of personal site ever on the web let alone built by me. I won't have the time nor the technology!
Let me lay it out for you.
The front page would look like a theater front. A ticket booth in the center with a line of posters and marquees with various movies on it. Naturally, the ticket booth would be the site information link and the posters would link up to sites of the moives I've seen from Moulin Rouge to something as old as Oliver and Company! Every page would be informative. From plot summeries to explinations of various things in the movie to even games. Hell, if I ever find out what it was that Mushu was trying to cook in Mulan, I'd even put the cooking instructions for it. Megabytes after megabytes of just things involving the movies I've watched and loved over the years.
Mermaid folklore in The Little Mermaid section...
An extensive documentation of Consumption in the Moulin Rouge page...
A page explaining what exactly the Rocket Boys are talking about in October Sky for those that have no clue what was going on...
A cow shooting gallery in the O Brother section...
Computer goodies like programs for the computer that would make it act like it was being hacked from The Matirx...
A fencing guide in The Mask of Zorro...
A comparison essay over the anime version of Swan Lake over the actual ballet...
The list just goes on!
Too bad I'll never have the time for it.
I have this weird day dream. I end up on The ScreenSaver's Site of the Nite segment for the most imformative and fun website. Each section would be based on a movie I have seen and grown found of. The layout, the games, just the very idea is so beyound me I wonder if I will ever see that kind of personal site ever on the web let alone built by me. I won't have the time nor the technology!
Let me lay it out for you.
The front page would look like a theater front. A ticket booth in the center with a line of posters and marquees with various movies on it. Naturally, the ticket booth would be the site information link and the posters would link up to sites of the moives I've seen from Moulin Rouge to something as old as Oliver and Company! Every page would be informative. From plot summeries to explinations of various things in the movie to even games. Hell, if I ever find out what it was that Mushu was trying to cook in Mulan, I'd even put the cooking instructions for it. Megabytes after megabytes of just things involving the movies I've watched and loved over the years.
Mermaid folklore in The Little Mermaid section...
An extensive documentation of Consumption in the Moulin Rouge page...
A page explaining what exactly the Rocket Boys are talking about in October Sky for those that have no clue what was going on...
A cow shooting gallery in the O Brother section...
Computer goodies like programs for the computer that would make it act like it was being hacked from The Matirx...
A fencing guide in The Mask of Zorro...
A comparison essay over the anime version of Swan Lake over the actual ballet...
The list just goes on!
Too bad I'll never have the time for it.
I dunno why, but I just watched the only two Disney Animated movies that I had a solid and personal connection with. Okay, so most of the movies I own have some kind of connection to me personally with the exception of some. These two for some reason struck me kindda funny.
"Someday I'll be part of your world."
Movies like the one this line came from make me wonder if we are really unified as a culture. We as humans are afraid of what we don't understand and fear that sometimes. If we are educated, we won't be afraid of something we don't understand. We would know how to deal with it and know that it's nothing to fear. I think when we fear people for something superficial like wealth or color that we aren't really giving them a chance. I've been on both sides of that coin. At least when I young, I was able to turn that side of me away. Now I'm on the side yerning for acceptance rather than the non-accepting side. Still, I can't help but wonder what makes people afraid of people. And I don't mean that they are shy when they are spoken to either. I'm talking something bigger than that.
"When will my reflection show who I am inside?
Yeah, I can identify really well here. Here I am trying to be respectful and honorible and all that good stuff to my family while trying to do my so-called "duties" of going out to the world, learning to drive, going to college, and so on. What am I doing while being myself? I'm silently and slowly ripping their heart in two by not doing what they wish when they want and how they want. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at someone I don't know. Whenever I clasp my hands, one doesn't feel like mine. I wonder what it will take to make me feel like I am worth something to them, my parents. I want them to be proud of me while still being able to do what I want. I just want everyone happy with me.
"Someday I'll be part of your world."
Movies like the one this line came from make me wonder if we are really unified as a culture. We as humans are afraid of what we don't understand and fear that sometimes. If we are educated, we won't be afraid of something we don't understand. We would know how to deal with it and know that it's nothing to fear. I think when we fear people for something superficial like wealth or color that we aren't really giving them a chance. I've been on both sides of that coin. At least when I young, I was able to turn that side of me away. Now I'm on the side yerning for acceptance rather than the non-accepting side. Still, I can't help but wonder what makes people afraid of people. And I don't mean that they are shy when they are spoken to either. I'm talking something bigger than that.
"When will my reflection show who I am inside?
Yeah, I can identify really well here. Here I am trying to be respectful and honorible and all that good stuff to my family while trying to do my so-called "duties" of going out to the world, learning to drive, going to college, and so on. What am I doing while being myself? I'm silently and slowly ripping their heart in two by not doing what they wish when they want and how they want. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at someone I don't know. Whenever I clasp my hands, one doesn't feel like mine. I wonder what it will take to make me feel like I am worth something to them, my parents. I want them to be proud of me while still being able to do what I want. I just want everyone happy with me.
